


you can keep your romance

by batty_lite



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batty_lite/pseuds/batty_lite
Summary: "You hung up your dick pic on my door and I got into some hard trouble w the RA, love you but not that much" - Wednesday, 2:41 AM
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Comments: 14
Kudos: 30





	you can keep your romance

**Author's Note:**

> Someone posted an anonymous confession on my university alum crush Facebook page, I did this.  
> Title from a Mickey Darling song (who you should definitely check out).

“I can’t believe you hit me with a banana,” Joe complains and stabs mercilessly at his joy-con. 

Patrick makes a face and leans back into the worn couch. “I haven’t won for the whole—” he starts, before being interrupted by an insistent knock at the door. 

Joe sighs and throws the remote to the couch. “I’ll get it.”

Joe opens the door to an acne-ridden RA, tall and blond and blushing wildly, holding a folded piece of printer paper in his fist. Joe looks between the paper and the person who is supposed to be his authority figure, now looking close to vomiting on Joe’s socks, and frowns. 

The RA doesn’t speak and after a brief silence, Joe asks, “Can I help you?” 

The RA clears his throat awkwardly and asks in reply, “Is Patrick here?”  
Joe considers saying no. It’s not the first time they’ve gotten in trouble with the RSA (though the first time they’ve gotten in trouble with this particular RA), and Joe opens his mouth to ask him to come back later when Patrick appears over his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Joe says. “He’s here.” 

“What’s happening?” Patrick asks and blinks when he makes eye contact with the RA. 

The RA hesitates for a moment, clearly nervous under the scrutiny of both Patrick and Joe, and clears his throat a second time before he discloses, “Um— Patrick, someone left an _image_ on your door with your name on it. Do you think we can talk in my office?” 

Joe stifles a laugh and Patrick says stupidly, “I have to put on my shoes.” 

The RSA office is cramped and stuffy, filled with colorful flyers for events Patrick will never attend, and the RA plops himself in a broken rolling chair and says in a low voice, “Should I show you the picture?” 

“Um—” Patrick starts and is handed the folded paper. Patrick unfolds it carefully, makes a surprised face, and tries not to laugh. He hands the paper back to the RA quickly, on instinct. 

The RA asks,“I know this is— hard, but I have to ask. Patrick, do you know who left this on your door?” He touches the paper on the desk and gives Patrick a pitying look. 

Patrick hasn’t actually seen the contents of the picture in person, but he has a pretty good idea who it’s from. He scratches at the back of his neck and tries to look sheepish. “I don’t— I don’t know who would put that on my door.”

The RA sighs. “You know that if someone is bothering you or harassing you, you can always come talk to me. We’re here to support you, and you should never feel victimized.” Patrick is walked through the university guidelines on sexual harassment and thinks that while they are comprehensive and necessary, he really wants to leave. The speech sounds canned and the RA is entirely unsexy and Patrick admits to himself with defeat that the picture, now refolded and under the RA’s palm, is more enticing than Patrick would like to think himself susceptible to. 

_I’m a victim,_ Patrick thinks, and replies, “Thank you.”

The lecture ends eventually, and the RA nods sagely and asks, “You know that I still have to report this to the student disciplinary council, right?” the RA asks eventually. He sounds genuinely remorseful, and Patrick nods. “And we will do everything we can to investigate the situation.” 

“Thank you,” Patrick says again. 

“Would you like to keep it?” 

“ _No,_ why would I—!” Patrick starts, and then says timidly, “Actually, I’ll— I’ll take it back.” 

The RA gives him a curious look but hands the paper back willingly, and Patrick chokes out a thank you and leaves the tiny office as fast as humanly possible.

“It’s a dick pic,” Patrick blurts as soon as the door to their shared dorm closes behind him. Joe makes an elated face and Patrick says through wheezing laughter, “Pete taped a picture of his dick to our door, and now I’m in trouble. I’m in so much trouble.”

“I told you he was flirting with you,” Joe advises. 

Patrick shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “He told me I had a cute ass once. That barely qualifies as flirting.” 

Joe makes a challenging noise. “He stopped going to those Phi Delta Theta parties. You should go talk to him.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna go _talk_ to him,” Patrick replies shortly and sends Joe a dirty look when Joe quirks an eyebrow. 

The door slams behind him and Patrick sprints down the stairwell of his dormitory and across Huntington Avenue to Pete’s upperclassman apartment with the picture clutched tightly in his fist. He slams on the door of Pete’s second-floor apartment and waits. 

Pete opens the door shirtless and wearing a confused face, and Patrick shoves the crumpled paper at him wordlessly. 

“Oh,” Pete says and moves to shut the door. Patrick shoves the toe of his sneaker between the door and the doorframe and leans against the door handle. 

Pete struggles against his weight and Patrick sticks his arm through the crack in the door and insists, “ _Nonononono,_ open the door.Pete, open the fucking door.” 

The door gives after a moment, and Patrick stumbles into Pete’s messy apartment and takes a moment to catch his breath before he inhales and inquires as calmly as he can manage with a dick pic in his hand, “Why did you put this on my door?”

Pete seems to think for a moment and then asks, “Did you get in trouble?” 

Patrick stares at him, dumbfounded. “Yeah, I have to go to a student disciplinary hearing for this now! I could get kicked out of student housing!” Pete suffocates a laugh with a hand over his mouth and Patrick demands, “Why did you tape this to my door? Why didn’t you put it on your boyfriend’s door?” 

Pete sidesteps the first question entirely and admits smally, “Um— I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

“Oh,” Patrick exhales, taken-aback. “That’s— But—?”

“That’s what? An interesting development?” 

“Yeah,” Patrick squeaks. 

There’s a tense silence and Pete stares at the floor and mutters, “You’re kind of hot when you’re mad.” 

“I _just_ finished yelling at you.” 

“I know,” Pete replies, and Patrick takes two steps across the room and kisses him, paper still crumpled in his fist. Pete makes a small startled noise and his mouth tastes like Diet Dr. Pepper and like he should probably brush his teeth, but Patrick can’t bring himself to care. Pete kisses him back like it keeps him breathing, like he hadn’t just tried to shut Patrick out of his apartment, like Patrick hadn’t just chewed him out for taping a dick pic on his door, and—

Patrick pulls away abruptly and asks, “How did you get in my building?”

“Someone swiped me in.” 

“Who?” 

“There was this RA— tall, nerdy-looking, um— lots of acne? I told him I left my key in my room.” 

Patrick laughs, bubbling up from somewhere deep in his chest, and tries to pull Pete’s face back to him. Pete stops him with a hand on his chest and manages, “Um— I’m sorry but I have— I gotta ask, was the picture okay, because—“

Patrick groans. “Yes. Yes, I _liked_ the picture of your dick. Can we, like, use it now?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Did anyone else have an AWFUL week, or was that just me? It's not just me. ((:  
> I wrote a feel-good thing.  
> Hopefully it makes up for tomorrow's shitshow (it's not that bad)-- read [Norman Fucking Rockwell](http://archiveofourown.org/works/22140037/chapters/52847560/) (if that's your thing) tomorrow (probably.) and hang in there.


End file.
